The next chapter here 1.2 is entitled "What Guys Need" and it is a great informative overview.
1) The need to be known and understood... Guys are very cautious about being known personally or deeply and yet they desperately desire (and need) to be known. "They want to be known enough so you can help them see their blind spots and be their ally and confident."
2) Need for close connection to God... Guys have a deep spiritual sensitivity despite outward appearances. This spiritual sensitivity is fragile and can be easily put out by other things which compete to fill the place of awe within the individual.
3) Individual Validation and Empowerment... Need for us to help guys find their strengthens and weaknesses in various areas (i.e. skills, talents...) and empower them to be all God desires for them to be.
4) Need Community... Clan-oriented. Need to experience "heart connection" with males that they can't experience with females. "If they cannot be intimate with the masculine on a tangible level, then they can never become intimate with an invisible God whom they perceive as being predominantly masculine in nature."
5) Guys need Mentors... Mentors show a guy worth; mold and shape a guy; and provides a safe place (free of judgement) for the guy. Pushes the guy toward the Lord and models dependence on Him.
6) Need to know How to Work... Builds responsibility, discipline, and purposefulness.
7) Need to Lead and Follow... Learn that a strong/good leader serves. Follows for the sake of learning to respect authority and break the bond of spiritualizing their own inner voice (i.e. only they have a connection of hearing from the Lord).
8) For Play... Need for competition and adventure. Release aggression and learn to be good winners/losers. It is not all about winning.
9) The Freedom to BE... "Boys need to be surrounded with men who will fight for their freedom to discover who they are apart from what they do (or are expected to do). Men need to model character (being) over action (doing)." ~pg. 36-37
10) Need to be Loved... "Guys desperately desire to have loving men in their lives who will speak a multilingual love language..." Break the sexual connection tacked on to being and needing love. Models what a man should be and do as the Lord calls us all to.
What came out particularly strong throughout this chapter is the need guys have for loving caring relationships/bonds and their need for Mentors in their life. As a youth leader and one who takes care of teenage boys it is important that I love these kids through my speech and actions as well as by modeling and directing them toward godly choices. It is important for us to show that we care and seek to make meaningful close relationships with them despite the difficulty or length of such a task.
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